BLAZING HELLS!

"Well fuck me." Muttered Fraide as he watched the infected lycan struggle against it's bonds. Roaring it's challenge the infected beast snarled and struggled trying to free itself so it could infect those around him. Ffraide's brow furrowed in thought and he pulled down his fist and bashed it against the feral beast's skull, caving it in. "They are changing... Up the defenses around the walls send the fastest pup we have to spread the word, these abominations are getting stronger..." He said cleaning the gore off of his hand. He looked up and sighed, things were only getting more complicated and with the Carnates showing up his numbers were once again being spread thin. He had to focus on concentrating his forces on defense before he could resume his crusade against these monsters. He waved his lycan's over towards him.

"Sir?" A young one asked. "Where do we begin?"

"We begin in there homes." He said simply growling his face changing into a threatening grin. He looked to the moon and grinned a insane grin. His face was plastered with a blood lust that defied his normal personality. "We'll make them scream and suffer for what they have done... The infected, the carnates. the ones who caused this! I'll find them all and make them wish for a death that will never come in time to save them!" This strange blood lust born from nowhere spread to the other lycans driving the honorable wolves into an almost human like riot. The species had made it's decision: Vengence, is on the menu

"You know mate, tis things like that. That sends worlds spiraling outta control. You think you can handle it bnb?" Said someone standing on the tallest building. "Zombies are MY shindig, Back da frakengra off" He had brown hair and was wearing a purple trenchcoat, and a very, outlandish outfit. He had goggles on his face, and a look of extreme.....Crazy?

Ffraide glowered as he looked up towards the strange looking man, he seemed familiar but Ffraide's anger would not be silenced by a lone man. He waved off his wolves and leapt up grabbing the roof and pulling himself up to face the man he stared him straight in the eye and watched the man not even waver whether this was from bravery or stupidity Ffraide could not tell.

"What right have you to claim this prey as your own?" Ffraide demanded sternly his glower unwavering. He wouldn't let some runt dictate his actions he had seen the damage they caused with his own eye's. "I have lost my own to those walking mockeries, unless you've got a damn good reason for me to back off. I don't think your in a position to tell me to. It was around this time Ffraide began to wonder how this man had gotten in here without anyone, even him noticing.

The man grinned, "Because my good angry wolfen freind, You cant do this" Mooch pulled out a six shooter revolver, Stared directly into Fraides eyes, and fired the six shots over his shoulder. Fraides perfect eyesight, noticed about 7 miles away, six zombies heads...just explode.

Mooch grinned and said one sentence.

"Like a boss"

Ffraide grinned ferociously as he saw the zombies get blasted. That was some of the best shooting since Jace had been around in the packs. He grinned and turned back to the man and blinked noticiing he was gone. "Oh Blazing Hells where did he go-?" Suddenly he was cut off by Mooches boot in he face as he jumped off the roof top and ran towards the Hellions house laughing aloud.

"Too slow! See ya later big gu-" the stranger got cut off by Ffraide standing in front of him glaring down at the small oddly dressed man. "Oh that's good, uh...your good...but uh before you get angry, Which I know you will there are three very important, very complicated, and long winded reasons why you should listen to me. One: I-" Ffraide's fist cut him off before he could speak any more. the man moaned aloud like a child who had his toy taken away. " Oh COME ON! You didn't even let me pull my trick it was gonna be awesome I would start talking then leave you in the dust staring at a dust cloud of me!" He said as Ffraide rolled his eye's this guy got on his nerves but he was great at slaying the infected. He chuckled lightly and a devilish smiled appeared on his face

"Nice shot"

"Yup."

"Sooooo...."

"....what?"

"Before I start hitting you for reasons I don't fully understand give me your name."

"Mo-...wait what?"

"Your name I need your name."

"So you can punch me?..."

"well that too but yeah."

"Mooch?"

"Sound about right." Ffraide said grinning. Mooch's eye's widened as he realized what happened next.

"I get the feeling I should run now." He said laughing nervously.

"I think this is the begining of a beautiful friendship." The Hellions said as he watch Mooch disappear in front of his eye's. "Time to hunt my new friend."

Mooch was sprinting.
Sprinting like the wind.
Then he had a genius idea.
He turned
saw fraide charging after him.
and reached into the air.

Fraide saw mooch turn.
saw mooch raise his arms into the air
then saw mooch pull down what appeared to be an oversized bazooka
okay...oversized was a understatment.
that thing was FUCKING HUGE.
Fraide continued to charge
at least.
he did until a WHALE shot outta the thing.
he paused....stared at the whale in confusion.
whales cant fly he thought.
then he realised he was standing still
Then he realised the whale was flying at him.
Then he realised he didnt have time to dodge
Then he realised that punching it wouldnt help at this range because of the whales forward momentum due to mass and other physics bullshit.
He went with the next best object
he took it like a man.

Or at least he thought he did
before the whale exploded as if it was made of anti-matter.
Fucking whales.
why you made of anti-matter?

"That was a whale." Ffraide said growling dusting himself off he was pissed and he walked towards Mooch passing thorugh the shadows a ten foot angry lycan growling then jumping up at him wait...why was there seven of him?

"BASICS!!!" Mooch yelled as he punched the lycan in the face. Fraide smashed that Mooch first, only to find out it was a hologram.
He growled in annoyance.
"FIGHT ME LIKE HONORABLE PREY!" Fraide demanded.
"HOW DOES THAT APPLY TO TATICS?" Mooch said from behind Fraide, hitting him with a 2x4.
"WHERE DO YOU GET THESE THINGS!?"
"I DONT KNOW!"
"GOD DAMN IT MOOCH, WHO ARE YOU!?"
"IM A CHAMPION!!" as Mooch yelled this he got punched by Fraide then exploded.
Fraide shook his fist, that kinda hurt.
"WHERE ARE YOU LITTLE FUNNY MAN!?" He roared.
"IN YOUR BASE, STEALIN YO FEWDZ~!" Mooch said running off with a full burlapsack on his back, he was runnin so fast he was already running into the sunset.

Fraide grinned.
This was fun.

Mooch grinned.
He'd be able to eat for the first time in a week.

Thats when he remembered he didnt need food.

Then he felt bad
Then he got punched in the face by a perfect fist.
And he forgot about feeling bad.
He hit the ground semi-unconsious.
"Herpledfegulmeshakaderp" He grumbled.

"Waoh, Did I hit 'em to hard?" Fraide asked himself frowning as he picked up Mooch. The Impossible man was grumbling about some strange things many of them made him chuckle. Fraide really didn't know what to do with the man so he took him back to his house. Hopefully he would wake up soon and they could have a conversation. Then more explosions...that would be fun.

"You~ are a Pirate!" Mooch half past dream world sang as full heartily as he could being not fully awake nor asleep.

"HOLY SWEET HOLY...I THINK I KNOW HOW TO CARBON DATE NON-CARBON LIFE FORMS IF I TAKE THE PROTONS AND THE NEUTRONS AND SMASH THEM WITH HAMM...mm...mmer...sss where the fuckbucket am I?" Mooch asked.

"In the magical land of rational thought with your host me! Fraide Andraste, the incredibly perfect! No applause needed As i already know how wonderful I am. So Mooch how ya feeling?" Fraide asked grinning as he went back to devouring the food he had taken back from Mooch's unmoving form.he lifted what looked like a oil drum and took a drink from it simple as lifting a piece of paper. He slammed it down shattering it and standing up offering his hand to mooch. "if your up for it let's go have some fun."

"Who is this rational thought you speak of...Ive never met a man with such a Highly ironic name...And when did my life become a gameshow....." Mooch actually said outloud.

"And the fuck do you do for fun on his land?"
"Please dear god tell me its not space la-cross.....It was hard enough getting away from the black templars and Mordecai and his ships the Fortunes Folly. I dont think i can take a team of Lycanthropes..."

"PLEASE DEAR GOD DONT BE SPACE LA-CROSS!!!"


The poor small man was either delusional halucinative. or highly imaginitve and thought he lived in a dream world.

He looked a little ways to the left of Fraide.

"Dear god.....Now i can swear theres a narrator saying things about me...I SWEAR TO GOD NARRATOR IF YOU MAKE THIS SPACE LA-CROSS IMA FIND YOU!....AND KILL YOU WITH SHARP POINTY METAL LAZER EDGED OBJECTS!!"

Yeah hes crazy...

Fortunately Fraide was used to crazy, it wasn't exactly a novelty after the apocalypse in fact being crazy was a bit of a normal thing so Fraide greeted the crazy of Mooch with his usual greeting for crazy people. A large fist clasped around a large mug full of the most potent stuff he had, garunteed to make you hang yourself with your intestine. he quiet literally smashed it against his face knocking Mooch's sense ajar again..

"Get ahold of yourself kid your acting like your the paranoid main character, just chill out and have a drink of something nice and refreshing what I meant by fun as hunting plain and simple that's what mah people do and we're damned good at it. Of course I'm perfect at it, being perfect that is." He said this as if it were a fact not some declaration made by an arrogant man drunk of his ass. He chuckled and dragged Mooch by his neck, knowing full well not to do so by his coat towards the door. he pointed outside and grinned. "The strongest prey can't be harmed by anything special, only your wits and your skill to get you by." This last statement was said with a more ironic tone in it. Saying that he was probably gonna hit Mooch again for kicks.

"What if i hit it with a car? Do cars work?" Mooch asked.
Obviously curious

"There aren't any cars in the forest." Fraide replied giving Mooch a look that was the equivalent of, 'Da fuck you talking bout son?'

"What if i made one outta tree? Would it work?" Mooch asked making a weird face.

Fraide raised an eyebrow.

Definitly crazy.

"That just sounds stupid." Fraide replied simply this guy was starting to get on his nerves again, so he reached over and punched him lightly.

"OW! What was that for?" Mooch asked in an almost childish manner, Fraide snorted and replied grumpily.

"You make a good target."

"What the hell do you mean a good target?....Im supposed to be not a good target...look at me
im small, delicate and Fragile" Mooch made a crying face while he said these lines.

(Onelining cause i dunno how Fraide would reply to this wihtout punchin me again)

"You look like you lived your life in a forest or out in the streets somewhere your coats obviously not light and the only thing you said hat looks right from appearances alone it the fact that your small." Fraide said sighing lightly. "Besides I've punched you and your still talking and walking so you've got to be tough enough to take a few good hits."

"Nah...Thats just my closest freind taking the hits for me....I really wouldnt be able to take em....Honestly I swear..." Mooch said. "I think you'd like her, You have the same mentality"

Fraide shook his head and patted Mooch's shoulder, normally he'd kill someone for saying something like that but he figured that if someone was taking the hit for him he'd just aim perfectly instead of perfectly not aiming form him.

"let's go it's almost time." The Hellion said standing up leading this impossible man to the hunt.

"What are we hunting anyway, Seriously...Im a master of disguise, Id like to know what disguise would be best for this....Prey.." Mooch said, raising a finger in the air.
Fraide raised an eyebrow, master of disguise? That outfit could be seen anywhere.

"Half of them don't see a disguise is pointless." Ffraide said grinning looking about the forest as they drew near. "No explosions alright? it's pointless and I actually like the trees." He added falling silent as his eye's scanned the trees he sniffed the air and grinned. "Gotcha"

Mooch sniffed. "GOD DAMN WEREWOLVES...JESUS THE SMELL OF DOG RUBS OFF ON EVERYTHING!!!" Mooch screamed and started to freak out, "GET IT OFF MEE!!!!!" there was a whirring noise as his clothes seemed to become alive for a secound and then he stopped freaking out, His eyes glowed yellow for a secound and he stared Fraide down hard, getting a eyebrow raise from the perfect man. "Uh...Mooch you alright?" Fraide asked continuing to walk

Mooch didnt talk, Infact his eyes closed and he continued to walk behind the perfect man. Humming a happy song.

It sounded like a semi-mechanical version of Twinkle Twinkle little star.

Now wasn't that odd? It had been a while since he had heard of that tune now suddenly the impossible man seemed threatening and Fraide let his claws sharpen in case he turned hostile his timing was perfect if he suddenly attacked her would be able to dodge or counter attack anything that wasn't about the size of a whale. He chuckled to himself remembering that trick her pulled a while ago, the majestic sea creature caught him by surprise but surprise attacks only work once.

"Are you alright you seem more focused than you have been." The Large man asked putting a pinky finger into his ear dragging earwax out and flicking it into the forest. it wouldn't be long before they were in their prey's territory. He snorted and continued to look straight ahead, he was getting excited.